I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
