He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
