Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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