Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
