last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
