Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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