she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
