does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize