I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
