Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
