I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize