im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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