it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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