I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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