What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
