Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I didn't shave. On purpose
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
