PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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