i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
