I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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