And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
