I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we're so committed to being not committed
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