it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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