If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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