She is in my trunk
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
