Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
