So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
