i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
