i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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