Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
