I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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