you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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