when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize