i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
