Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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