Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize