we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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