Will you blow on my dice?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
