Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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