Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
