Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
