I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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