I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
