I am in a vortex of obligation.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
