Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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