Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
