we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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