We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
