Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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