I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
