I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
