ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
