It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize