we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
this is an emotional support booty call
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize