I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize