I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
