I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
