just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize