The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
